Friday, December 2, 2011

All I Want for Christmas


Halloween has come and gone in all its sticky excess.  Thanksgiving turkey eaten. Decorations are going up and Christmas cards are going out so . . . . CAN I GET SOME DECENT CHRISTMAS MUSIC?

Here in Atlanta we basically have one radio station that starts playing Christmas music after Thanksgiving.  As a Christmas fan and devotee, I would normally have this radio station on in my car or in the house for my full-time Christmas music enjoyment. However, last year and this year I have noticed that there is less variety than in the past and a proliferation of newer, sappier Christmas songs.  Here are the worst offenders:

  1. Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg. This is the “met my old lover at the grocery store” song. What? What in the world does that song have to do with Christmas? Why are they drinking in her car in the parking lot of a liquor store?  Is this the theme song for holiday depressives or holiday alcoholics, or both? My Christmas wish is for this song to never be played again on commercial airwaves. If you like this song, you should have to buy it and keep it in your home.  Also, you are stuck in 1979.  This song was actually playing on the radio as I typed this.
  2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen.  Play any other version of this song. Any other version. I'm begging you.
  3. One Wish (Christmas Medley) by Whitney Houston. Or any other Christmas song by Whitney Houston. They’re too long and it kind of makes me ill to think of Whitney Houston and Christmas at the same time.
  4. Any Christmas song by Josh Groban. He is just too sappy.
  5. Santa Baby by Madonna.  I will even listen to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer if you will stop playing the Madonna version of Santa Baby. Make it stop. She’s creepy. What’s wrong with Eartha Kitt's version?
 As you can see by #2 and #5 above, many of these songs are covered by numerous artists so it’s not always the song itself that is bad but the particular version of the song.  Let's stick with the classics, shall we?  The only decent new Christmas songs of the last 30 years are: Last Christmas by Wham and All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey.  Grown Up Christmas List by Monica is okay too.  I’m going out on a limb here with Last Christmas because many don't like it but George Michael has a great voice and it’s a catchy song.
 
Here’s what I want to hear more of: Christmas standards/oldies and novelty Christmas songs, such as:
  •  Little Saint Nick by The Beach Boys because they’re right, Christmas does come at the same time each year. 
  • Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee – this is the only decent version of this song. No imitators accepted. 
  • 12 Days of Christmas sung by The Muppets.  I like how Miss Piggy sings the "5 gold rings" part.


I want any Christmas song sung by Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole or Elvis, especially Blue Christmas. Anything with Burl Ives.  How about a traditional like Hark the Herald Angels Sing?

What are your Christmas music favorites and pet peeves?

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4 comments:

  1. Gerard.December 3, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    I am surprised you didn't include "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" in honor of our toothless son.

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  2. Shelley WakenDecember 4, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    I agree with you about the "old lover gettin' drunk" song, Madonna, and Whitney, but I must defend Bruce Springstein's version- he seriously makes me want to believe that Santa is, in fact, coming to town (also, he makes me believe that he is a bit constipated). I also would like to add a few to the list: 1."Where are you Christmas?"- major downer. 2. The "I'm a kid buying shoes for my dying mother" song- has anyone heard this one? 3. The "there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas" song- seriously, people.

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  3. Dana B.December 4, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    The shoes for the dying mother song mentioned by Shelley is called Christmas Shoes by Newsong. It is really sappy. If you need to hear it, try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a_Y1wAJ2MU

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  4. KeciaDecember 5, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    As much as it pains me to say it, I still love Amy Grant's first two Christmas albums. She's got some nice classics, along with a snazzy version of O Little Town of Bethlehem (aptly shortened to "Little Town"), a beautiful original called Breath of Heaven, and she is also the originator of Grown-up Christmas List. Thank you very much, Monica, for the cover. Try it, you'll like it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Album-Amy-Grant/dp/B000V7HFM8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323132423&sr=8-1

    http://www.amazon.com/Home-Christmas-Amy-Grant/dp/B000V7HFLO/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1323132423&sr=8-3

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