Conversations of a punch bowl diva

Over the years, I have become my family's official party thrower.  I have hosted and planned wedding showers, baby showers, anniversary parties, kid birthday parties, baseball opening week parties, casual barbecues, Halloween costume parties, Christmas dessert spreads, a New Year's Eve family party, Thanksgiving dinner for 19 and Easter lunches. Along the way, I have come up with a few observations and ideas on entertaining.

Dana's Party Tips
My advice for kid birthday parties? Do have beer handy for the parents. Don't make the kids wait longer than an hour before serving the food. Never, never, NEVER allow the birthday child to open his presents in front of the other kids. It is time consuming and leads to bad feelings. Also, you never know if your kid is going to announce that he already has that Bey Blade or that he hates that babyish sweater. You can't risk it. It's totally normal for at least one guest and the birthday child to cry at the birthday party.  Kid parties should last 2 hours maximum.  Give yourself ample time to rest and soothe frazzled nerves after the party is over.

Giving a baby shower? In my opinion, men should not be invited. I know couples showers are popular these days but a baby shower is one of the only times women sit around and try to outdo each other with gross stories of labor and delivery and painful past pregnancies. There's something constraining about having a man in that environment.  Plus, why would a guy want to hear all that?  Also, guys don't like to ooh and aah over each present and it puts a damper on the festivities.

I serve petit fours at all wedding and baby showers.  In my opinion, the ones from Rhodes Bakery are the best.

For all parties besides kid birthday parties, I recommend making a punch.  Punch is festive and looks pretty when served. People are amused by punch bowls and it gives guests something to gather around.  It can be the novelty item of your party and you can make ice rings or ice blocks to go in the punch bowl to coordinate with the theme of the party.  This recipe for pineapple-gin punch is one of my favorites and was a hit at Thanksgiving a few years ago.

What Makes a Bad Party?
Bad conversation -- more important than food or drink,  a good host will find ways of connecting people in conversation. If you don't pay attention to who you're putting on the guest list, you could end up with awkward pauses or bored sighs.

Limited space -- there's nothing worse than feeling like a sardine while you're waiting to get a drink or there's no where to sit down and you're carrying a plate of food, your drink, a napkin, and your purse. Also, if the layout of the party area makes it difficult to circulate or talk to people in another part of the space, you can feel cut off and conversation dies out.

Not enough alcohol -- alcohol is what makes the party world go round so to speak. It gives people something to do (find the drinks, refresh your drink, get you a drink) and something to talk about (these drinks are strong, expensive, unusual, etc.). 

Bad food or no food -- I was once at a Christmas party where the only food offered was cocktail wienies in three different kinds of sauce and M&Ms.   Kid you not.     If you have a more unusual party food pairing than this, please leave a comment and let me know.

My Dream Parties
There are several types of parties I have never been to and would like to be invited to, including the following:

• Indian wedding -- great colors, dancing, multi-day celebrations and the groom rides in on a horse. I have Indian friends. Why haven't I been to one of these yet?

• Any function involving the British royal family. I don't see this one occurring any time soon but a girl can dream.

• A state dinner at the White House. This one could happen, right?

• Any type of Oscars party. This could be attending the actual Academy Awards or an Academy Awards party in L.A., or just an Oscar-themed party thrown by a friend. Maybe I'll even throw this party myself sometime.

Does anyone else out there have a dream party list? What kind of invite would you like to receive?

162 Games

After a brief break from blog life, I have returned to wax poetic on the subject of my favorite sport -- baseball. This post is dedicated to the Atlanta Braves and all the outfielders I have loved before: Claudell Washington, Marquis Grissom, Andruw Jones, Otis Nixon, Jason Heyward and one infielder: Ron Gant.

Since I am a list maker and can't break myself of the habit, I have organized my thoughts into a list I'll call  Why Baseball Is the Best Sport Ever
1. Constancy: baseball has been played in the U.S. for about 150 years and there are 162 games in the regular season. I look forward to baseball opening day every year and the games are a constant presence in my life from April through September every year, day in and day out.
2. Infinite: You play until someone wins. There are no ties in baseball; you just add extra innings until someone scores. I also like that innings have no time limits. It could be a short 7-minute inning with 9 strikes called or the inning could last an hour with everyone in the batting order batting twice. You never know how long a game will take and much depends on the type of pitchers for that game.
3. Errors: that's right -- in baseball there are errors and if you mess up badly enough, that statistic will stay with you into baseball eternity. Balls are dropped, catches are missed, plays are mishandled. I like that an unseen judge, the official scorer, must keep track of what went right and what went wrong. What if there were error statistics kept for those of us in business and law? What if there was an official scorer to tell you that the decision you made with your kid was an official error? At least you would know where you stand. Baseball carries an ideal of perfection. Pitchers pitch "perfect" games and the best fielders don't make many errors.
4. No instant replay: with a very limited exception of reviewing home run calls, Major League Baseball has resisted the siren's song of instant replay. Umpires must make decisions on the spot without pauses to consult tv screens. Do bad calls get made? Sure, but all teams are disadvantaged equally and MLB umpires have a lot of training before they go out on the field. There are no do-overs, even when an umpire causes a pitcher to lose out on a perfect game with a bad call. You just have to apologize (or not) and move on.
5. Language: I like the phrases that are particular to baseball: "safe at home", the "little looper into right", the "pop up", he "flied out" (not "flew" out).
6. Baseball movies: in the offseason, you can watch The Natural, The Rookie, Bull Durham, Sugar, Eight Men Out, Field of Dreams, A League of their Own, and Major League to remind you that baseball is the greatest sport.

So if this list doesn't convince you that baseball is the greatest game ever played, I suggest you watch the video of Sid Bream's slide (the slowest guy in baseball) in the 7th game of the 1992 NLCS and see if that doesn't put a smile on your face, even if you aren't from Atlanta.  Braves win!!!  Braves win!!! Braves win!!!!

Dinosaur Theory

Gerard and my friend Kelly have convinced me to share my somewhat wacky dinosaur theory with everyone and so I do so now.   Dana, you might ask, why do you have a dinosaur theory and what is it?  Well, when you think about it, dinosaurs are everywhere and very popular right now – on TV, in museums, in movies, etc.  How much do you really know about dinosaurs?  They lived millions of years ago and no one knows why they’re not around now. Sure, there are theories (asteroid, cold weather, cigarette smoking a la Gary Larson), but it doesn’t seem like a settled area of science.

       Over the years, I have had several doubts about the details of these extinct creatures and exactly how correct our understanding is.  I’m not saying that I don’t believe in the existence of dinosaurs, I’m just saying let’s stop and think about this for a minute.   

       Supposedly, they existed millions of years ago. Just on the face of it, it seems that accurate information would be hard to come by on anything that old. I understand about carbon dating and fossils, but scientists come out with brand new information or theory about dinosaur habits and habitat – the dinosaur lifestyle, if you will -- every 30 years or so. I’m not doubting that scientists and others have really found these bones, I just wonder if the bones are put back together wrong. Case in point: the brontosaurus, which was found in 1975 to be a mixed-up skeleton with an Apatosaurus body and a Camarasaurus skull. There is a funny article about why the brontosaurus isn’t around anymore at http://www.unmuseum.org/dinobront.htm  

       The most recent evidence of the oldest dinosaur is based on a fossilized footprint, not even a bone itself.

       If scientists are using bones and bone fragments to tell us about these ancient animals, how do they know what colors dinosaurs were? Are the skeletons so well preserved that bits of skin or hide remain to tell us that T-Rex is kind of orange/red with some striping, or did the creator of Jurassic Park make that up?  Back in the 1960s and 1970s, dinosaurs were depicted as being shades of either grey or green or brown.   (Does anyone remember the Land of the Lost TV show?)  Currently, dinosaurs are depicted as having stripes and some have very bright colors like yellows and oranges and pinks.                                                                                               

      

       I wonder how much marketing affects the science of dinosaur discovery.  There is no other scientific discovery that lends itself so easily to the sale and marketing of children’s toys and TV shows.  Off the top of my head, I can think of three dinosaur shows currently on TV: Barney (shudder), Dinosaur Train (dinosaurs ride on a train with a dinosaur conductor to visit and learn about other dinosaurs that live in other dinosaur eras, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me), and Dino Dan.  The Dino Dan show has a paleontologist on staff to check the accuracy of its facts, as we wouldn’t want to lead our children astray on dinosaur history.  There are movies about dinosaurs, numerous toys and dinosaur figurines; there is even a dinosaur breakfast cereal (Quaker Oatmeal Dinosaur Eggs).  I can think of no other animal that does not exist that has captured our imagination so much.

So, for me, dinosaurs are relegated to the category of creatures such as dragons and Hobbits and the Loch Ness Monster and maybe Big Foot.  Things that are depicted in print, on screen, and that capture our imagination.  But scientific accuracy? Not so much.

Books, books, and more books

Can we talk about books for a moment? First, the bad. What was the last book that you started reading and intentionally did not finish? Mine is The Buccaneers by Edith Wharton. She was writing it when she died and I felt like I was dying while reading it. I like Edith Wharton, but this one was BORING.

Has someone ever given you a book as a gift and you disliked it or didn't finish it, and then pretended you had read the book or liked it when the gift giver asked you about it? It's a little like being set up on a blind date and then the guy comes to the door and you think "why in the world did my friend think I would like this guy?" For me, the book was A Prayer for Owen Meany. Gift-giving friend shall remain nameless. I just didn't like it. Sorry, nameless friend. At the time, I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that the book you loved was not loved by me.

Have you ever been so disgusted by a writer or character in a book that you threw the book across the room? In my case, the book that hit the wall was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Sure, maybe some of that had to do with my own sleep deprivation at the time, but it was an annoying and unhelpful book. I know several in my book club were spectacularly disgusted with Humbert Humbert, the main character from Lolita.

And now the good.  I have taken a look back and wish to recognize the best books I have read in the past year. These books didn't necessarily come out in the past 12 months, but that's when I read them. As usual, I have created my own categories.

Best Gift or Coffee Table Book: Awkward Family Photos by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack. I gave this to my dad but secretly wish I had a copy for myself. If you're not familiar with this book, please, please go to the Awkward Family Photos web site after you finish reading this post.

Best Mystery: I am generally not a mystery reader, but my book club recently read Arctic Chill by Arnaldur Indridason and it was excellent. It's the fifth book in the series but you don't need to have read the previous books. The mysteries are set in Iceland and it makes me cold just thinking about it.

Best Historical Fiction: March by Geraldine Brooks.  Set during the Civil War. Very well written and the historical details seem accurate without making it a less compelling story.

Best Nonfiction: Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick.  I can't say enough about this book or tell enough people about it. This may be the best book I read all year. North Korea is fascinating, especially when you read about it from an insider's point of view. This is nonfiction that reads more like a great newspaper feature story or even like fiction in terms of writing style. I didn't know much about the country and this book has sparked my interest in learning more.

Best Short Stories: a tie between Lost in the City by Edward P. Jones or In Other Rooms, Other Wonders by Daniyal Mueenuddin.  If you like stories about urban Washington D.C. go for the first. If you want stories about rural Pakistan, take the second.

Best Fiction with a Love Story:  Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo.  There are multiple love stories in this book and I like how the couples mature from teenagers to old folks and how their love changes over time.

Most Realistic Depiction of the Immigrant Experience: Little Bee by Chris Cleave.  If you like light, uplifting books, this is not the book for you. However, this is one of those stories that stays with you for a while. You want to tell others about it, but you can't tell too much or it ruins the story.

Best Poetry: Does anyone else out there read poetry? Check this one out -- Good Poems for Hard Times, edited by Garrison Keillor. I bought this to give to someone as a Christmas gift but kept it for myself.  Ha.

If you are looking for a book store in Atlanta where everyone knows your name, I highly recommend the Blue Elephant Book Shop in Decatur. The staff members are good at listening and asking questions before making book recommendations. They really care about good books and give the book buying experience a personal touch, which is rare these days. And they let my book club meet there and gracefully tolerate our quirky book orders, so thanks to the Blue Elephant.

Come Fly With Me

How much do you know about the city where you live? If you've been to Savannah, Chicago, Charleston, or New York, you've probably taken guided tours and visited attractions. But how often have you done those same things at home? I've often found it strange that we know more about the history of other cities than we do about our own.

This has been on my mind lately because Phoenix Flies starts March 5.  Organized by the Atlanta Preservation Center, Phoenix Flies is a two-week event of free tours of Atlanta neighborhoods, parks, churches, historic homes and sites.  That's right. I said free.

• Have you read about the Beltline project and in theory you support it, but you don't exactly know where the Beltline is? There's a tour for you.

• Have you driven past Rhodes Hall on Peachtree or the Castle House on 15th St. across from the Woodruff Arts Center, and wondered about the architecture and how they came to be there? There are tours for you.

• Did you know that Atlanta has a replica of Scottish poet Robert Burns' birth home and it serves as the club house for The Atlanta Burns Club? I didn't, but there's a tour for that!

• Did you go to the Georgia Capitol on a field trip as a kid, and now all you can remember about it is that there was the head of a two-headed calf in a glass jar on the third floor? Well, now you can go as an adult and learn about architecture and civil rights, because there are tours for that. (Someone please let me know if the two-headed calf is still there.)

• Do you want to see the historic home where Gerard and I had our wedding reception? There's a tour for that, too. I'm not kidding. The Wimbish House is on the list.

 My favorite tours that I've done in the past are: Fox Theatre, Oakland Cemetery, Ansley Park, and Inman Park tours. This year I'm going to try to do the Druid Hills and Beltline tours. Some of the tours do require reservations, so it's best to check the schedule in advance. If you feel strange going to one of these events by yourself, take someone with you who has lived in Atlanta five years or less and pretend like that person asked you to show them around. Just nod your head and say "that's right" like you are agreeing when the tour guide mentions an interesting fact.

The Dana Mania award goes to the comment with the most interesting/weirdest bit of Atlanta trivia. Two-headed calf in state capitol building doesn't count since it has already been mentioned.

Forget Best Actor, What About Best Slow Clapping?

As the Academy Awards show approaches (Feb. 27), I would like to recognize one of my favorite movie genres, Underdog Sports Movies with Slow Clapping.  The Academy does not recognize this category, but it's my favorite for several reasons: sentimentality (the old lump-in-the-throat), poignant father-son issues, and lots of slow motion action scenes and fans cheering in slow motion. I give you now the Dana Award list of best underdog sports movies (with and without slow clapping).

1. Rudy -- the father of all underdog sports movies with slow clapping. When I first saw this movie, I cried so hard Gerard thought there was something wrong with me. I've seen it at least 10 times and it gets me every time. That scrappy Rudy. All he's got is a dream and guts and he has to fight class bias, poverty, and his size. There are father-son issues all over this movie. Rudy's got heart, dammit. Lumps in the Throat: 5 out of 5.
2. The Natural -- okay so technically no slow clapping in this one but there are several slow motion scenes of Robert Redford running the bases against a star-filled background and teammates jumping in the air in slow motion. Great actors and beautifully shot. A movie about having integrity and doing your best.  And Robert Redford.  Lumps in the Throat: 3 out of 5.
3. The Rookie -- who wouldn't tear up a little when a middle-aged Dennis Quaid calls home to tell his young son that dad has been called up to the Big Leagues? Baseball?  Check. Underdog? Check. Father-son sentimentality? Check. And slow clapping.  Lumps in the Throat: 3 out of 5.
4. Friday Night Lights -- sentimental father-son issues all over this one. Despite my aversion to Billy Bob Thornton, this one makes the list for great underdog moments, good acting, and realistic Southern accents. Cross reference with high school coming of age movies.  Lumps in the Throat: 4 out of 5.
5. Hoosiers -- they're poor, one of the coaches hits the bottle, and several of the players have father-son issues. A classic. Lumps in the Throat: 2 out of 5.
6. Remember the Titans -- a sports team overcoming racism, Denzel Washington, and a horrible car crash almost destroys the team. What more could you ask for? Lumps in the Throat: 4 out of 5.
7. National Velvet -- definitely an underdog sports movie although no slow clapping in this one. Little Liz Taylor just rides her guts out and I tear up every time during the part when the Pie gets sick. Cross reference with girl power/female athlete stories. Lumps in the Throat: 3 out of 5.
8. Any Given Sunday -- not exactly an underdog team, but maybe an underdog coach story? Al Pacino looks so hangdog in this. There are some great macho slow motion scenes with bone-crushing hits and you can actually get a feel for what choreographed football plays are like. Lumps in the Throat: 1 out of 5.
9. Varsity Blues -- this one is a cross between an underdog sports movie and a high school coming of age tale. There's a mean coach, a pig, and lot of guy bonding. And slow clapping. Lumps in the Throat: 1 out of 5.

Honorable mention goes to A League of their Own (cross reference with girl power/female athlete stories). "Are you crying? There's no crying in baseball."  Gerard would also like me to mention that the movie Not Another Teen Movie makes fun of slow clapping and a couple of the movies on my list. Sure, underdog sports films with slow clapping may be easy prey for parodies, but where would we be without them?

Comment and add your own movies to my list if you dare.

I wish I may . . .

I think New Year's resolutions are silly and stopped making them years ago. However, like a good Southerner, I did eat my black-eyed peas this year for good luck. So instead of a New Year's resolution, I have a New Year's Wish list for Atlanta. I am aiming high, so this is where the prosperity of the black-eyed peas comes in handy.

1) I wish for alcohol sales on Sunday. This issue drives me crazy. There are only three states that prohibit retail alcohol sales on Sunday. Can Georgia please be removed from this list? I'm not suggesting we all go out and booze it up on Sundays, but can we at least be given the chance to vote on it? It looks like this issue might get to a vote in the Georgia legislature, so maybe I'll get my wish.

2) I wish for different radio programming for our local public broadcasting channel, 90.1 WABE. Classical music is great, but do we really need a 6-hour block of it every day? How about mixing in some news or talk programs.

3) I wish for a world-class Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site. Parts of the historic site are in a shameful condition and this hurts my Atlanta pride. Atlanta was the birthplace and home of one of the most important figures of the 20th century and the area is less well-cared for and not as educational as the exhibits at the Georgia Aquarium. I know the beluga whales are paid for through corporate donations and ticket sales, and that the MLK Jr. Center is privately owned within land owned by the National Park Service, but the legal wrangling among the King family members really needs to end so that improvements can be made.

I'd like to see better signage overall, and improvements to the plaza area surrounding the grave site and crypt. The National Park Service visitor center building is cramped and outdated with inadequate facilities for visitors. This area should be top on my list to take visitors and right now it's not and that's a shame.

4) I wish for a lower unemployment rate. Obvious. Remember when it was 2 or 3%?

5) And last but not least, I wish for another World Series title for the Atlanta Braves!  Considering our performance as the Wild Card in last season's NLCS, I think it's entirely possible this year. We need a good center fielder (Nate McLouth, don't let us down) and fewer injuries overall.  More Braves posts to come as we get closer to baseball season.

What about you? What's on your Atlanta wish list for 2011?